Snappy Movie Reviews (Oh snap!)

Troll 2
An 80s horror movie about “vegetarian goblins” in a town called “Nilbog” where the heroine defeated the goblins by eating a double-decker balloni burger. When it came to supernatural ideas, I didn’t think there could be anything worse than vampires glistening under the sun.

Valentine’s Day
It was like watching a spinning color-wheel. It made me dizzy. And the rumor was right. Taylor Swift was annoying in the movie.

Mona Lisa Smile
I love the 50s fashion. Especially the pearls. Not recommended for women undergoing quarter-life crises.

Eat Pray Love
Eyes rolling. I switched the channel.

You’ve Got Mail
Now that’s real love story. Di pa uso ang yummy leading men with six-pack abs. Oh I didn’t mean any offense to Tom Hanks, he was adorable. Hey, can you imagine Meg Ryan doing a rom-com with a yummy actor like Ryan Gosling or that McSteamy guy from Grey’s Anatomy?

What a productive Saturday, don’t you think? I’m going to update my CV now.

P.S. Do I need to point out that “Nilbog” is Goblin spelled backwards? I’m pointing it out anyway.

The Price of Not Having A Cellphone (Sub-title: I say I don’t need it, but I do. I do. I do.)

Actual conversation revised for blog-worthiness of course.

Friend (email): You left your phone in my car.
Me (on Facebook): Can you check if I left my phone in your car?

Friend (Facebook chat): It’s with me.
Me: Do you have time tonight to hand it over to me?
Friend: We have an event tonight. I’ll be in Mandarin Hotel until 10pm. If you are still available then, we can meet up.
Me: Okay.
Me: Maybe I can drop by before the even starts. You can meet me outside the hotel.
Friend: Good idea. Okay. I can go out to meet you.
Me: Okay. Just let me know….
Me: Wait! How will you know I’m outside the hotel na. And how will I tell you to go out cause I’m outside the hotel na.
Friend: Haha!
Me: Maybe you can just leave my phone at the reception?
Friend: How will you know which reception?
Me: I think there’s only one reception in the hotel. Just leave my name. I’ll present my id.
Friend: Okay. We will be at the hotel around 6pm.
Me: Okay

Logged off Facebook.

Me (office chat): Hi!
Officemate: Hi.
Me: I need a favor. I know you’re going to your girlfriend’s event at Mandarin Hotel tonight. Can you leave me a message before you leave the office? I need to go over there as well to pick up my phone. It’s with your GF’s officemate
Officemate: Sure.

That’s 20 minutes spent chatting, instead of working.

One Spirit

Peace be with you!

I think it would be appropriate to start off with this greeting given the amount of attacks the Roman Catholics have received in the recent months. This post isn’t going to be about the RH Bill. This is bigger than that. This is for every person who have thrown a spear against my faith. Whether they have done it on the television (ahem Brother Eli), on twitter (#rhbill, #ipasa) or in a restaurant like KFC on a Wednesday night (can’t help it, sorry), these are all illustrations of divisiveness. We are all following one Jesus. I think we are all missing the point.

Tonight, I am here virtually facing all of you to finally put a stop to all of these attacks. And you have to trust me when I say, I do not do this out of spite. But with the belief that to remain united in Christ is of absolute importance to the Christian faith.

Today is an important Sunday for the Catholics because today we celebrate Pentecost. Thru this celebration, we should all be reminded of the true essence of the Christian spirit –

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.”

I hope we could all take a few moments to step back and revisit the things that we’ve said and the manner by which we’ve delivered them to some of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Let us be grateful for one another’s faith. I think we can all agree that Christianity is about following the examples of Jesus. And in that sense alone, Christians can all be united in faith. And in peace.

“whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons… we were all given to drink of one Spirit.”

A solemn Pentecost to everyone.

Do you want to know something gross?

This is going to be TMI. I’m serious.
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When I said gross, I meant literally gross.
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Wow. Brave soul, you are. I’m impressed.
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Are you sure you want to go through this?
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A little bit arrogant and heard-headed, huh? I dare you to scroll down. Go ahead.
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I AM TELLING YOU. BACK-OFF, CLOSE THIS INTERNET BROWSER AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM FUTURE NIGHTMARES AND EATING DISORDER.

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Scared yet?
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Fine. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn ya. If you scroll down further from this point, you imply your agreement on the terms whereby you wave your right to sue and demand damages from me for whatever negative consquences this information will cause you.
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You want it, you got it. Here you go.
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I have pimple on my armpit.

It’s not the kind you can just prick to go away. It’s the kind that inflicts pain at the slightest touch.

Told ya it’s gross. It ain’t my fault now.

A Louis Vuitton-inspired Socio-Economic Policy

I was intending to write something about RH bill. But I think it was fate (or maybe my short-attention span) that led me here where I am about to tackle an issue that is closer to my reality – the unequal distribution of wealth in the society (kaboom!).

The rich-becoming-richer-while-the-poor-gets-poorer economics has, for decades, resulted to the never-ending debate on minimum wage, downsizing, outsourcing and yes, even the issue on population control. Think about it. All these issues remain unresolved because their policies are either pro-rich or pro-poor. And the reality is that the government can’t ignore either. The rich are the business owners. They have the capital. They make the money go-round. Their natural tendency, unfortunately, is to want to get even richer. The poor, meanwhile, whatever their reason for being poor is, will forever be our government’s responsibility. And the result – the hitherto tug-of-war between profit and social welfare as well as policies that neither promote economic growth nor provide a sustainable solution to poverty.

I think the government has exhausted all means to help the poor. We already have the Cash Transfer Program. Besides, there are already hundreds of non-profit organizations and charitable institutions existing to assist the poor. I think it’s about time we turn our heads the other way and start putting the pressure on the rich…. and their LV bags. Their BMWs. Their Pajeros. Their iPads.

The rich (let’s include those who want to feel rich) love luxury commodities and brands – LVs, Coach, BMW, Mercedes, Pajero. These brands contribute very little to benefit our economy. They create insignificant number of jobs. They don’t promote Filipino pride, art or culture. They don’t give back to the society (neither do the people who patronize these brands). There are very, very few venues to sell used signature bags or second hand luxury cars. They depreciate. Their value does not increase in time. Hence, contrary to some people’s sentiments, these are NOT investments. If I burn an LV bag (inspired by a Mara-Clara scene where Magda burned Selina’s Hermes bag – wow!), so what? The owner will not be any poorer. If you own one, you are neither richer.

And yet, the rich (and the middle-class social climbers) want them so bad, it’s pathetic. And as they get richer, they will definitely buy more of them. That’s the reality.

AND THIS IS WHERE THE OPPORTUNITY IS.

Impose high VAT on Luxury items. When I say “high,” I meant 500%. But I’ll settle with 300%. Only if they plead nicely. And no, income tax on companies that sell these luxury brands won’t do. It has to be VAT. A transferrable tax that the buyer would have to pay for. If the rich wants to show every body how filthy rich they are, go ahead. But that is a privilege that should cost them. I strongly recommend the government to make money out of this USELESS behavior.

Quote from the show The Big Bang Theory: In Papua New Guinea, there’s a tribe when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstituous non-sense, of course, but one can see their point.

Corporate Athlete and the 90/10 Principle. Sub-title: When life hands you lemons and all that sh**

I’ve put off Corporate Athlete for years since I started working for P&G. Corporate Athlete is a two-day training that applies principles of sports science to maximize performance in the Corporate world. Whoever invented the idea that the demands of a desk-job is very much the same as that of a professional sport is a genius. And it’s about time society recognized that. I wonder if there will come a time when brains would be more important than beauty, and that people from show business, who earns millions just by being pretty, would actually be pressured to be smart; So that instead of spending for plastic surgeries and expensive spas, they would actually spend money getting a good education.

Pulling myself back to reality, I’ve always had a certain impression about Corporate Athlete that rendered it un-appealing to me. My co-workers who took the training told me one thing consistenly – it taught them how to exercise. And there goes my desire to take the course. You see, I am one of those girls “blessed” with curves. I’ve always found it difficult to eat normal amounts of meals 3-times a day without feeling bloated. I always had to diet and exercise to keep my body looking the “acceptable” size. I do like exercise, which I think is the problem. Because until today, in spite of all the sweat and muscle pain, weight is still an issue. To illustrate the bad impression more clearly, whenever somebody invites me to attend Corporate Athlete, I’ve always envisioned a couple of muscley men – like the personal trainers I see in Gold’s – clutching clipboards and looking down on me from a pedestal, giving me the verdict that I am un-fit and overweight and that my sentence will be lifetime of push-ups.

I took up Corporate Athlete a week ago, just because I was new to the department and it was my way of showing the new bosses how passionate I am. Suffice it to say, I had the wrong impression all these years about Corporate Athlete. I almost covered my ears when I thought they were about to discuss weight. But there was no discussion about weight at all. I was not advised to lose weight. In fact, I was not advised to lose anything. To the contrary, I did a lot of gaining during those one and a half days. I gained a lot inspiring stories of athletes, lessons about fitness and all that. But I believe I gained most, when I learned about the 90/10 principle.

The 90/10 principle is simply the key to a happy life. It means 10% of life is of things we cannot control and 90% is how we choose to react to the 10%. In other words, when life hands you lemons, make a lemonade. Or something like that. Over the past year, I’ve had so many “lemons” hurled at me. Some lemons, I’ve managed to make a lemonade out of. The rest, I just can’t help but to hurl them back. It may as close as I can get to never having a bad day ever. But if ever we slip and end up having a bad day anyway, it’s alright. Just like in basketball, when you miss a shot, all you can do is get back to the game as quickly as you can and just try to be smarter next time.

I was not expecting Corporate Athlete to make this much of an impact. But it did. I have learned that life is, most of the time, a sport and that I had to be athletic in every way possible. It taught me that to be an athlete in the real world means to always be prepared for what life has in store for you, whether good or bad, just like how professional athletes would train for months for one single game where there is just as much a possibility of losing as winning; it means to take whatever challenge is hurled at you and make the best out of it just like how basketball players instinctively know when to pass the ball or take the shot; it also means to live life passionately and with vigor even in the midst of helplessness just like how runners just keep on running and running to finish a race even if they’ve seen other runners run past them already. Most of all, it taught me that rest and recovery is an important part of success just like half-time is always a constant part of the game.

I’ve always thought Britney Spears made sense when, in an interview she was asked, “how do you avoid situations from the past that threaten you?” To which her answer was, “I go through life like a karate kid.”

Stephen Covey’s 90/10 Principle video presentation:

Britney Spears: For the Record Part 6 of 6

“Ayoko ng Drama”

God. I’m a walking contradiction.

For someone who cries even at the most baduy scenes in tagalog movies and who have long ago accepted the fact that my tear ducts probably get full refills to the brim on a weekly basis, so that it can’t help but overflow at the slightest nudge, this statement may sound like I’m being pretentious. But I wasn’t. I was serious and I meant it. I was determined not to show any sign of emotion.

One of the household help is leaving tomorrow. Yes, the one who, for a split second, I wondered if she was a P&Ger in her past life. I was that impressed with her pro-activeness and ability to think beyond the instructions given her and follow through…open issues.

She came up to me this afternoon and thanked me for being good to her. It caught me off guard. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in the past months. Even nicer than the “Power of You” write-up my boss wrote for me for which I got a 3k worth of sodexo gift certificates. I read the write-up tens of times hoping it would move me to tears but it did not. Though, I did feel like crying when I finally received the GCs. Finally, some shopping! Haha!

Anyway, she was really trying to make a proper good bye to me but in the middle of it I blurted out “ayoko ng drama”. I kept my stern expression on. I handed her the Lysol bottle I bought from the store and notified her that the fridge needs cleaning and a whole more bunch of petty instructions. I said I would call her to come by and meet my parents on Wednesday. I turned my back on her and that was that. I was relieved I was able to halt the emotions that started to bubble inside of me. It seems to be a really ridiculous reason to get all emotional about.

But how can I not get emotional? For the past year, she was the one who made my life less of a hassle. And I felt I could trust her. I think I might have even trusted her more than I trusted some members of the family to be honest. She was also sincere at her job. I like her. And if there is a such a thing, I would promote her to…. supervisory level, I guess.

I’m thinking of the moments of my life when I managed to block my emotions. One was when my parents came home after two years of staying in the U.S. The longest that i had not seen them and basically learned to live on my own as if there really weren’t any parents that existed. I gave them a hug and my siblings tried to tease me about it but i managed to keep my deadpan expression. I stared at them blankly as if to say “What are you talking about? Who’s affected? Glad to have you mom, feel at home! “

Now that I think about it, I really wasn’t feeling much at the time. I mean, I remember they decided to sleep in my room that night because the new A/C I bought for their room has not arrived yet. I felt weird lying beside my mom. She touched my back and I shivered like she was a stranger and she shouldn’t be touching me at all. At some point, I just decided to sleep on the floor by myself.

Another perfect example is when I was having this thing with a boy I don’t even want remember. But I always told myself, crying over a boy is pathetic. So not once did I really cry because of him. I remember, though, all those times I almost did. My friends always found it funny. One of them actually cracked up when she saw me tearing up. Lol!

What I do know is that this whole “ayoko ng drama” mantra of mine started when my old boss told me I was too emotional. He was actually trying to compliment me saying I’ve matured a lot over the past year and all that BS, just to follow it by “you were so emotional before!” It struck a nerve and from then on, I switch off the tv whenever Maalala Mo Kaya was on.

Don’t get me wrong. I still cry from time to time. Actually, a lot of times this past year. In the privacy of my room with a pillow on my face, mostly. But it has become something controllable. Like switching television channels from one dramatic scene of a telenobela to a mundane episode of The Bachelor.

I plan to keep this up. This whole “ayoko ng drama” mantra. But what I’m looking forward to would be the moment when I would cry my heart out, tears and snot and all, because of happiness. Tears of joy, more commonly known as.